theresa's Journal
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February 16, 2010
( untitled )
WELL TIME TO UPDATE. I QUIT THAT JOB AND I DID GET AN ATTORNEY, WE ARE STILL PENDING COURT. I GOT ANOTHER JOB AS A MANAGER AT DENNYS BUT ONCE AGAIN MY SON GOT IN TROUBLE IN SCHOOL AND I HAD TO LEAVE. WELL THE SHORT OF IT I WAS LEFT WITH NO CHOICE MY JOB OR MY CHILD I WAS FIRED FOR LEAVEING MY SHIFT. I AM CURRENTLY ON UNEMPLOYMENT AND GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. ALL OF MY KIDS HAVE SEEN A NEW DOCTOR AND THEY NOW HAVE ASPERGERS WHICH SEEMS MORE FITTING. I AM UPSET WITH DISCOLL HOSP HERE IN CORPUS MY OLDEST SON WAS IN THE HOSP FOR A BONE INFECTION THAT MADE HIM STOP WALKING HE IS 10 WHEN WE GOT RELEASED AND HE COULD WALK. AS WE WERE LEAVING HE HAD A MELT DOWN I WAS TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT AND BEFORE I COULD THERE WERE NURSES AND PEOPLE AND SECURTITY GUARDS ALL JUMPING IN CAUSEING A TOTAL MESS ALL THAT MADE IT WORSE IF THEY WOULD ONLY HAVE STOPPED INTERFERING. AND HE GOT WORSE AND STARTED CUSSING THE NURSE WAS HOLDING HIM DOWN I WAS TOLD TO GO GET MY CAR I DIDNT WANT TO I WANTED TO CALM HIM. IT GOT OUT OF CONTROL. HE HIT HER AND SHE YELLED THAT SHE WAS CALLING THE POLICE CAUSE HE IS 10 AND CAN BE PROCUTED HERE IN CORPUS.THE COPS CAME PUT MY SON IN A COP CAR MADE ME FOLLOW BEHIND WHILE I WATCHED MY SON ACT LIKE A WILD ANIMAL CLAWING HIS WAY OUT OF THE CAR HE WAS ON THE WINDOW/DOORS SCREAMING AND CRYING AND CRYING THEY TOOK HIM TO A BEHAVIOR HOSP. AND HE IS STILL THERE. BEEN A WEEK AND HAVE PUT HIM ON SO MANY DRUGS. I DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE I DIDNT WANT HIM TO GET A RECORD FOR SOMETHING THAT NURSE STARTED. MY GOD HE HIS A CHILD. AND WITH A DISABLITY AT THAT IT IS VERY UPSETING TO ME. AND THE COP SAYS HE NEEDS LONG TERM MENTAL HEALTH HE NEEDS TO BE PLACED IN A HOSP FOR GOOD BEFORE HE GETS HURT OR HURTS SOMEONE ELSE. HE DONT KNOW MY SON. HE BASED IT ON HIS MELTDOWN. I AM NOT SAYING MY SON WAS RIGHT HE SHOULD NOT OF HIT OR CUSSED. BUT LOOKING THROUGH HIS EYES I AM THINKING I AM 10 I WAS WALKING SUDDENLY I STOPPED WALKING. I HAD BLOOD TESTS AND AND ULTRA SOUND WAS GIVING SHOTS AND I WAS CONFUSED AND SCARED AND I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT AND I WANTED SOMETHING RIGHT THEN. AND WHEN I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANTED I WENT IN TO MELTDOWN. I WAS REALLY UPSET OVER MY CONFUSION. BUT I USED THE ITEM I WANTED FOR A REASON TO GO IN TO MELTDOWN. I HAD BEEN BRAVE AND GOOD IN THE HOSP. AS I WAS LEAVING IT BECAME TO OVERWHEIMING.) I AM UPSET THAT IT CAME TO THAT AND I CONTINUE TO STRUGGLE WITH MY FEELINGS OF FEELING LIKE I DIDNT HELP MY SON. AND I WONDER IF I SHOULD HAVE THROWN MY OWN MELTDOWN AND STOOD UP MORE FOR HIM.
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July 22, 2008
another day?
well today i was fired. and as crazy it sounds i am relieved. now i can get on with my life and get my boys back in counceling. i am hoping that i can keep them in the school that they are in. i am moving out of district and i need them to be in the school they are as they have the same teachers every year. there is a real need to keep their stablity after every thing we have gone through i think that i wont tell the schools for a bit as it going to be hell enough now with us moving to many changes. are happing for them
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July 20, 2008
AM I GOING CRAZY?
TODAY WAS ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE. I WORKED ALL DAY FROM 6 THIS MORNING UNTIL 9 P.M I FEEL SO GUILTY MY KIDS WAKE UP AND I AM NOT HERE. I AM HERE BUT I AM OUT SIDE WORKING AND I DONT MEAN LIGHT WORK I MEAN HARD WORK THE OWNER IS STOCCOING THE BUILDING REDOING ABOUT 30 UNITS WANTS IT ALL DONE YESTERDAY WORKS ME LIKE A DOG AND I GOT TOLD HIS WAY OR THE HIGH WAY I HAVE 3 KIDS I CANT JUST UP AND DO THAT. I AM AT MY WITS END AND WHEN I SNEAK IN FOR A MOMENT OR 2 MY KIDS GO CRAZY AND START SCREAMING FOR ME AND I HAVE TO WALK OUT CAUSE THE BOSS JUST SEEN ME GO IN HE TELLS ME MY KIDS ARE OUT OF CONTROL THEY WERE FINE TILL HE CAME ALONG. I MEAN WE HAD ISSUES BUT THEY RESOLVED THEM SELFS PRETTY GOOD WITH ALL THE TRAINING I HAD. ITS JUST NOW I AM TO TIRED TO BE A MOM AND I TRY AND TRY AND I TRY BUT I AM SO STRESSED EVERYTIME HE YELLS AT ME CAUSE HE THINKS MY KIDS DID SOMETHING AND THEY DIDNT OH THEY CAN BUT NOT ALL THE TIME. AS BOYS DO GET IN TO THINGS. BUT WHAT I MEAN IS I HAVE TO RIDE THEM HARD AND ITS NOT RIGHT AND IT MAKES ME RESENT THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE AUTISM AND WISH THAT I HAD NEVER HAD THEM AT TIMES NO I DONT MEAN HURTING THEM I MEAN I JUST WISH THAT HAD I KNOWN THAT I WOULD HAVE KIDS LIKE THIS I WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD KIDS. AND I DIDNT FEEL LIKE THIS TILL THIS BOSS STARTED CONTROLING MY LIFE. I HAVE BEEN FIRED AND REHIRED 10 TIMES IN ONE DAY THIS MAN HAS SOME ISSUES I AM TELLING YOU AND YET I AM TOLD NOT TO TALK TO ANY ONE EVEN LAW ENFORCEMENT. HE TRIED TO MAKE ME SIGN A STATEMENT OF LIES THAT I DIDNT DO AGREEING THAT I DID THEM AND I DIDNT SO I SIGNED WITH NOTATIONS THAT I WAS INNOCENT OF HIS LIES AND DID NOT AGREE WITH IT AT ALL THAT WAY I COULD HAVE A COPY. I AM STUCK HERE I NEED HELP I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE I AM IN BUT I DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO UP AND LEAVE RIGHT NOW HOPING ON THE 1ST I WILL GET SOMETHING BUT EVERY DAY IS A NEW NIGHTMARE EVERYDAY ITS SOMETHING NEW . GOD I KNOW I AM GOING ON AND ON AND ON BUT I AM SO UPSET I AM FEELING LIKE I AM ON THE WAY TO A BREAKDOWN. ALL I HAVE DONE IS CRY AND CRY AND CRY NO HE DONT SEE THAT I WONT GIVE HIM THAT BUT WHEN I AM AWAY AT NIGHT THATS WHEN I FALL APART. BUT I CANT SEEM TO HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER I AM AN EMOTIONAL WREAK I REALLY AM