WeAreAutism.org - The Social Support Network for People Living with Autism

Daniel

Ok, first I do have aspergers syndrome. I'm not trying to advocate that there is anything "wrong" with how i think. In fact still despite all the problems that go along with how I think I still value the benifits more then I do the deficits. Still there are a great many things that would have me in tears as a child, and would have as an adult if such emotion was logical *in Mr. Spock voice*. Things like being able to step outside my comfort zones without flying into a panic. Having my envoriment shift suddnely, cuaseing me to panic over the change i didn't know how to cope with. Being unable to tollerate, fabrics, sunlight, sweating, being touched, hair. Knowing deep down inside, that the fact that emotions DO have value, and i was missing out on a whole lot becuase i just could not manage them, so i buried them. Also becuase the emotions were buried, it kept me totaly blind to anything resembling "social common sense". Ofcourse all this adds up to being lonely, which turns into depression. Im truely amazed that more asperger people don't kill themselfs (but ofcourse thats not logical).

Anyway, after discovering what I thought i saw as my lot in life, Living on SSDI, alone, playing MMORPG's 18 hours a day, My parents bless them who never gave up, found somthing called Neurofeedback. While Nerofeedback has been around since the 60's its never been widely accpeted (cuase it sounded new ageish) but also becuase the research never got the funding. In short, it starts out with a scan of electrial brainwave patterns on the head, between the various "currently known" sites on the head. Then the scan is compared to "normal" brains to see whats over functioning and under functioning.

Let me say the the scan in itself is a wave of releif in its self. So much of what is done in the medical field is "here's the symptoms, here's what we THINK the problem is, here's your drugs". The scan SHOWS your brain, it shows the activity. There it was, clear as day, the left side of my head lit up as working overtime, with the right side of my head (most in the social area) barely moving at all. Oh it was so vidicating.

Anyway, the treatment is totaly non-invasive, there's no drugs (infact im no longer taking ANY drugs, i just don't need to). you just get little sensors placed on your head, and your brain gets simply instructed to adjust itself.

There's one of two methods. First is you place sensors between diffrent points, then in real time the therapyist can see the current wave frequency (diffrent waves means diffrent types of activity). Then the machine sets sort of a wave spectruim to that he wants the waves to fall into. Then you attach to the program a movie or some music. When the brain produces the proper wave frequency the music or movie plays, when it falls out of sequence, its stops. The brain likes stiumlation, so it natruely wants to listen, and gets annoyed when it stopped. So like an unruly child, or dog, you teach your brain to wake up, and work in certain areas, and slow down in others.

The other method is a bit more powerful, there's no coaching or prodding. Called LENS system, this feedback targets the site, grabs onto the wave being produced, and pulls it the desired direction. It may be faster, and more powerful, but its also kinda freaky if your not ready for it. too much too soon and your brain gets pulled out of its comfort zone and you get left behind, resulting in sort of a mental whiplash. Great for kids (who deal with changes daily anyway) and Adults with head inuries and KNOW what normal feels like and despratly want to get back there. Not so great for people with long standing brain patterns like me at 29, at least not till i was ready for it.

The results for this therapy are promising 70%+ of the people see some improvment. Not to mention the brain learns to hold the patterns (if you want it to hold them), this thearpy is disgined to CURE the problem. i haven't had treatment for well over a year, and im still running strong.

Anyway, while the treatment was for my ADD, OCD, Depression. It also shifted my Aspergers syndrome. All those symptoms that i listed in the above paragraph have been smoothed over for the most part. I guess the biggest things i can think of are first, with my emotion and logic now properly ballanced within my head, I seem to have the real capacity to LEARN social, and emotional things the way i should have back when i was a child. Alas im not a child. im 31. Its hard to accept the fact that ive lost time, learnign things at the proper stage that i can't ever get back, but i guess thats better then not being able to learn them at all. The next is my ability to step outside my comfort zone without having that internal panic. I never really understood just how much of a loss it was that the emotional part of my mind wasn't properly integrated with my logic. Not just in understanding, but my threshold level for other situations still amazes me. Still after a couple years i still thing, why am i not panicing? why haven't i freaked out? It takes a long time of slowly testing, of trusting that yes I can step outside my boundrys, and nothing bad will happen, or if it does i CAN handle it. So now, i know that whatever effort i put into the direction i want to go, i can get there. My mind no longer holds me back, it just waits for me to find the courage to test it, to try to get there.

I get really frustrated that so many people can't get access to it. Why? its new, there's no federal study yet that proves it. thus no one will dump money into it, and no insurance angencey will cover it. So now im going to collage, studying to get into the field, to treat people. When i search the web and i read stories of all those people, that were just like me i cry. So many people, so trapped, i remember, how much it HURTS, how numb i tried to make myself becuase it hurt. Still, i gotta tell people. Doesn't do any good if people don't know.

　

--My therapist's www.neurotherapynw.com website.

19 months ago